How to Find Your Matron Deity
I often get asked in my coven how to know when a goddess is your matron goddess. So I thought I would take some time to discuss how I discovered my matron goddess and some of the things you can be on the lookout for when discovering yours. This information is also applicable when you want to find your patron god instead.
As with everything I share, remember, this is just my experience. I don’t talk for the entire community. Take what resonates with you and simply leave the rest.
You are/feel Hereditarily Connected to the Region of a Particular Goddess
Do you have a draw and desire to visit a place in the world that you can not explain? Do you have a hereditary connection to somewhere in the world that is rich in mythology?
These are two things that I suggest to witches to explore when it comes to finding their matron goddess. You may find that this doesn’t lead you to the deity you will predominantly work with, but it is an excellent place to start.
Their stories are legendary, inspiring and resonate with you.
I’m a HUGE mythology fan, and I have read classical mythology from a very young age, which undoubtedly influenced my love of the old gods and goddesses. I love the myths and legends from around the world.
The first time I read about the goddess Athena, a light bulb went off in my mind, and I just knew I had found the goddess I would be a priestess for my entire life. So read up on mythologies and feel into what clicks with you.
Specific Goddess card appears consistently in your readings.
If you work with Goddess Oracle Decks and do daily draws, be on the lookout for Goddesses that regularly come up for you. If this is happening, research more about that Goddess. Meditate with the card, explore that connection more and see where it leads.
Most goddesses and gods have animal messengers and avatars. They will be heavily featured in the iconography of the deity and their myths. Many goddesses turn into animals to watch over the affairs of mortals. They can even see through their eyes.
If you see a lot of one particular animal in a way that is not typical, there may be something there for you to research.
A Goddess Appears to You in Dreams
Goddesses can be less than subtle when they appear in your astral world, so you may find yourself dreaming about them. They could be simply talking to you in the dream, or you may hear someone say the goddess’s name in the dream. You may also see an image or a book on them as well. Listen to your dreams.
Your Goddess Approaches You in Meditation and Energy Work
If you do energy work and meditation regularly, the goddess who wants to work with you may just approach you in meditation and energy work. You’re open and connected to the source and can receive those energies and messages easier than in everyday life.
Consistent Appearance of Images and Iconography
Say you’ve been reading about a specific goddess; you may start to see their animal messengers everywhere. You’ll see it on people’s clothing, jewelry, in song lyrics, or even images in ads or TV shows that resemble the goddess. Seeing them in the world is a sure sign to look at working with them.
Popular Goddesses to Work With
There are many goddesses from different cultures that you can choose to work with or who may call you. Goddesses are multifaceted and you’ll find that many have the same focuses. You can choose what to work with.
Below I’ll share information and exercises for five common goddesses that people ask about the most – Freya, Hecate, Aphrodite, Bastet, and Persephone. If they don’t feel right for you, I share information about another 45 goddesses in the guidebook of my deck, The Modern Goddess Oracle Deck.
Signs Freya is Calling You
Freya is one of the most important and beloved goddesses of the Norse pantheon. She holds dominion over love, passion, beauty, and fertility. She is drawn to the finer things in life and sees them as blessings to receive and experience. She is free with her love and is known to be a goddess that you put on your ritual VIP list when celebrating.
Freya was often honored and worshiped by her devotees for blessings of children, happy homes, and successful magic. She revels in all things related to sex and sexuality. Her passions are abundant and unrestrained. She is motivated by love and attracted to beautiful things. She is often called upon to help obtain the heart’s true desire and for help with fertility.
Freya sees fertility beyond just human conception. Sexual energy can be used for so much more. By harnessing it, you can use it to fuel passion for your work, get inspiration and creativity for your projects, and manifest joy and connection in your life.
Whether you seek deeper intimacy with a lover or just sensual enjoyment, Freya reminds us to explore and acknowledge our emotions. She teaches us to find our self-worth by embracing our beauty and to own our sexuality. She’s not afraid of using her sexuality as a tool for both pleasure and to get what she wants.
Seeing her symbols around in dreams or in everyday life might mean she’s trying to get your attention. If you see Freya when you are dreaming or meditating, pay attention to what she is doing or how she appears to you for clues as to how she would like to work with you. She favors seers, shamans, and witches, and it is believed that you can use the runes to communicate with her. Call upon her in your mind, cast your runes, and see what message she has for you.
How to Start Working with Freya
To honor Freya, you can incorporate her correspondences into your life or on your altar. Her colors are light blue, white, pink, and gold. Freya’s symbols include cats, love hearts, runes, and swords.
She’s drawn to beauty, and she may call you to slow down and enjoy the sensual pleasures of your environment or explore and learn more about the intersection of sensuality and empowered magic.
Freya Activity: Exploring Intimacy Tarot Spread
You can use this Freya Tarot spread to explore your relationship with intimacy.
Signs Hecate is Calling You
Hecate is a powerful Greek crone goddess of magic, witchcraft, and the moon. She’s the chief goddess presiding over magic and spells and is known for her connection with the spirit world and crossroads.
She is a crone goddess who is a virgin, as she never needed a man to be complete. The crone is the most powerful stage of the woman (although society tries to make us believe otherwise) because she has all the wisdom of her experience.
She is the goddess of crossroads. These crossroads include the one between the physical and the spirit world, and the crossroads of decisions as she can see the past, present, and future simultaneously.
She is also associated with entryways, knowledge of herbs and poisonous plants, necromancy, and sorcery. She is one of several deities worshiped in ancient Athens as a household protector.
She has a special affinity with dogs, both alive and ghosts, and is often depicted as being accompanied by packs of barking dogs. Hearing dogs or seeing her symbols in your dreams is a clue that this goddess is reaching out to you.
How To Start Working With Hecate
Hecate is wise and helps us gain a positive perspective and have the courage to face our fears or the truth we have been missing. Good colors for working with her are black, orange, red, yellow, and white. Symbols of Hecate include dogs, keys, crossroads, crossed torches, and pentagrams.
As she can see the past, present, and future simultaneously, she is a great goddess to bring into your past life, healing from your childhood and earlier experiences in this life, and practices that help you divine the future.
Hecate Activity: Fear facing timeline meditation
Signs Aphrodite Is Calling You
Aphrodite is the Greek goddess of love, beauty, pleasure, and passion and is considered the most beautiful being ever to exist. She was born from the ocean in the waters surrounding Cyprus and is a deity of the ocean.
She took many lovers and even married, but she is the matron goddess to sex workers and was never ashamed of her beauty or the pleasure of the body. Aphrodite’s worship endures and there are many rich myths about her incredible power and her lovers.
She’s also the matron goddess of sex workers and has been worshiped as a warrior goddess.
She is an ocean goddess, so seeing sea creatures and shells everywhere you look could signify that she’s trying to get your attention. She’s also represented by roses, doves, sparrows, and swans, so don’t despair if you’re landlocked; she’ll still be able to let you know she wants to work with you. Dreaming of the ocean a lot could be her way of getting your attention.
How To Start Working With Aphrodite
Pleasure is an essential part of our spiritual journeys. Aphrodite reminds us to focus on what brings pleasure in life. Have you shut down your receptivity to pleasure? There are many reasons we disconnect from pleasure, and she can help us open ourselves back up.
You can do this by belly dancing, drumming, yoga, eating orange foods, swimming, creating art, and having a few orgasms (partner optional). Give yourself permission to receive pleasure and build from there.
Aphrodite’s colors are mother of pearl, pink, red, white, and gold. Her symbols include the scallop shell, pearls, mirrors, and dolphins.
Aphrodite Activity: Pleasure Affirmation
It is common in our society to put other’s comfort’s and needs in front of our own. It is also common for women and queer people to have guilt or shame around receiving pleasure. To help us heal from this, you can use this Aphrodite Affirmation: It is my divine right to experience pleasure.
Signs Bastet Is Calling You
Bastet, also known as Bast, is the Egyptian sun goddess of cats, protection from evil spirits and disease, playfulness, music, dance, and joy. Bast was a warrior and daughter of the great sun god, Ra.
Bast often is depicted with the head of a spotted cat and the body of a Nubian woman. In the past, cats were held in high regard because they protected the harvest grain from disease and contamination by rats. So, Bast and her sacred animals, the cats, were celebrated. To kill a cat was to be put to death, and cats were mummified when their owners died and buried with them.
She also has a connection to funeral rights and her protection extends even into the afterlife.
As Bastet is a cat goddess, the most obvious sign that she would like to connect with you is the presence of cats. Seeing them in pictures, on television, being followed by cats, and even hearing meowing can be signs.
Feeling a big pull to move your body to the beat? She’s also a goddess who loves dancing and playing. So, hearing a great-to-boogie-to song every time you pass a speaker could be Bastet inviting you to dance and play along with her.
How To Start Working With Bastet
While Bast is a warrior and protector, she is also a Goddess of dance, music, and joy, so good practices involve those things. Make time for laughter and play. You could try some laughing yoga or watch some comedy.
Since Bast is a sun goddess, try to get out into the sunshine, or if you are like me in Vancouver, the city of perpetual rain, take some vitamin D.
Bast’s colours are malachite green, bronze, black, red and pink, and she loves metal and bronze. All cat images are connected to Bast. Sacred oils and perfume bottles are also important symbols of Bast. If you want to put plants on your altar, you can put catnip, vervain, mint and hemp. Grains are connected to her as well as red wine. Crystals for Bast are cat’s eye, tiger eye, morganite, black tourmaline and malachite.
Bastet Activity: Banishing Bullshit People Ritual
Bast is a great goddess to work with for banishings and setting boundaries. She can banish what is no longer wanted in our lives. This is to be done with consideration because what is banished can not be brought back. As a protective Goddess, she is the perfect deity to work with when needing to get someone or something the hell out of your life.
Banishings are something to be done with great thought. Be aware that the person or thing you banish from your life will be gone, and there is no going back.
For the ritual, you’ll need:
- Black candle and a lighter
- Pen with black ink
- Rock salt (preferably black)
- Frankincense, myrrh, sage oils (one is fine if you don’t have all of them)
- Photo or a burnable personal item of the person you wish to banish
- Cauldron or fireproof container
- Protective crystal or talisman
- Small pocket mirror
- Image of Bast
Steps for the ritual:
- Welcome the goddess into your ritual space by spritzing a little of your favorite perfume around and turning on some nice background music. If you like wine, pour yourself a glass to sip while you call her in mentally. You can even pour the goddess her own glass if you’d like to! Once you feel her presence surround you, continue on with the ritual steps.
- Take the small pocket mirror and lay it down flat on your workspace
- Take your black candle and three drops of oil (frankincense, myrrh and sage) and anoint the candle
- Once it has been anointed, place the black candle on top of the pocket mirror either by securing it or putting it in a holder. Light the candle.
- Place your talisman on your body or put the crystal you are using to support this spell somewhere it is touching your body.
- Take your paper and black pen and write down the person or thing you want to banish. Be specific. If it’s a person, use their full name and date of birth if you have it.
- Begin to say the banishing enchantment three times as you write the word BANISHED through the person’s name and DOB and fold the paper three times.
I banish <person’s name> from my life
I banish <person’s name> from my light
I banish <person’s name> from my soul and mind
I reclaim my energy and what is mine
I sever all cords, all that connects
I sever all seen and unseen aspects
I banish <person’s name> and set myself free
With harm to none so mote it be
- Ensure your cauldron or fireproof vessel is close. Then, light the paper on fire and allow it to burn.
- Safely burn the photo or anything else you wish to burn in the ritual.
- When you’ve completed your ritual, make sure all flames are extinguished. Thank the goddess for her help and support in your ritual. Take your container of ashes and the goddess’s wine if you poured some for her and dispose of them. You can add the ashes to your compost if you’d like and dilute the wine with water and use it to give a tree a drink.
Signs Persephone Is Calling You
Persephone is a Greek goddess, the daughter of Zeus and Demeter. She became Queen of the Underworld when Hades abducted her. She lives half of the year in the underworld with her husband, and her annual return brings spring with blooming flowers and wheat. She’s often seen holding a sheaf of wheat, which disappears into the earth when sown and sprouts again from the earth in spring.
Being both the goddess of the spring and Queen of the Underworld is quite a contradiction and requires excellent adaptability. However, despite the trials of living in two worlds, she has risen to the challenge and has become a formidable goddess of the afterlife.
Remember that Persephone is both Queen of the Underworld AND Goddess of Spring, so the way she chooses to reach out to you will most likely be aligned to the current season. During the spring and summer, you might feel her presence when you’re out enjoying the beauty of the natural world on a hike or while strolling through a botanical garden. During the fall and winter when she is ruling over the Underworld with her husband, Hades, she might reach out to you in your dreams.
How To Start Working With Persephone
Persephone is a great goddess to work with when focusing on duality, adaptability, and rebirth.
Persephone’s colours are red, black, green, magenta, purple, and yellow. Her symbols are pomegranates, lilies, wreaths of flowers, torches, crystals, garnet stones, tourmaline, watermelon tourmaline, sapphire, ruby, and obsidian.
Some ways you can explore working with her include:
- Try a mediumship reading for yourself or go see a medium
- Make flower wreaths for your altar
- Visit a nocturnal house or sanctuary (donate too, if you can)
- Have lilies in your home
- Give your space a good declutter and cleanse
Persephone Activity: Magical Pomegranate Seed Salad
Pomegranates are loaded with nutrients, can aid in lowering blood pressure, and are anti-inflammatory. They are also one of Persephone’s symbols, so you can turn the mundane magical by enchanting a salad!
Make your favorite salad and sprinkle pomegranate seeds on top while saying this charm:
“Sacred seeds of regeneration and life, bring your magic to me, make me whole from inside to out, as I will it, so mote it be!”
Imagine the pomegranate seeds glowing with vital red energy as you add them to the salad and enjoy!
More resources to work with Goddesses
Work With Your Goddess
Once you have found a goddess you would like to work with, you can deepen your relationship with them with the practices in How to Work with Your Goddess.
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