This weekend past I spent my Saturday night at Drumming Circle at my friends wonderful spiritual property. Usually I am all for getting up and drumming on the ‘Thunder Drum’ which is big and sounds amazing but this weekend I was clearly in need of some heavy duty journeying. When the drumming started I was just unable to get my arm up to start swinging on my own handmade drum and I ended up in a meditative state very quickly. It was more than ok with me as there was some stunning wood flute playing, chanting and crystal bowl singing meditations as well so it was rather perfect. I did end up drumming as well, just not as energetic as I usually am. 


After the drumming was over and we had all eaten I sat down with my friend and mentor, Tamara Lampard, who besides being a fantastic woman and very connected spiritually, is a Civil Celebrant, runs sweat lodges and is a Teacher to children who are branded by schools as being ‘highly difficult teenagers’ and that is just some of the amazing stuff she does. I have known Tamara for many years and value her wisdom and her down to earth attitude when it comes to life. Unlike some people who practice a spiritual life, Tamara has her feet on the ground and will tell it to you straight. My favorite kind of people.  




I was discussing with her my complete lack of direction and the overwhelmed feelings I have been experiencing in regards to the decisions I have in front of me. There are choices to be made and the indecisive Gemini that I am would rather be told which one to take than actually make that decision for herself. Which aint cool because I NEED to make decisions for myself, what I really want. But what the hell do you do when you HAVE NO IDEA what you really want? When you would be happy being in two places at once doing two completely different things?  


After a long conversation two things really stuck out for me.  


1. Don’t Settle you are worth so much more than that. I have been making a conscious effort to not settle but I wanted to reiterate it because I think it is one of the most important things we need to consistently remind ourselves of otherwise we become stagnate.  


2. Find your Whooo Hoooo and keep doing it (not talking about between the sheets only) Find what makes you happy to get up in the morning and what gives you those YES moments and keep doing it.  
Maybe it was the way she said it but this really hit home. What does give me satisfaction and real JOY? I know of a few things that I hand on heart enjoy and I am not pursuing either of those things full time. Why not? Good bloody question.  


This is a cycle for me, nearly every year around this time I am forced by the universe to deal with my shiz. I keep saying that I am pushing Hades boulder uphill at work have been for years. I think it may be time to listen and walk away from the boulder.