Hi Tarot Bumblebees,
You might think this is a ridiculous thing for a professional Tarot reader and deck creator to write about, like “do you not have bills to pay, Ethony?”.
Yes, I have bills to pay and a little one to take care of, but that doesn’t make up for the fact that you can have too much of a good thing. I want to talk about when it may be time to back away from the cards.
What we’re covering today is the danger zone of codependency, total escapism, and overindulgence.
As a rule of thumb, I get a professional Tarot reading about every 6-12 months for a general check-in. If something drastic changes or a big life decision happens then this is also a great time to get a reading. You may like to do a reading a month or every Sabbat. I do self readings at the New and Full Moons for personal and spiritual reflection.
You may read your cards every day, and that’s fine; that’s a lovely ritual to start or end the day with. You may also be doing daily readings to learn your craft; that is also perfectly fine. This is not what this video is about.
Before I begin, as with everything I share, simply take what resonates with you and leave the rest.
1. When you’re turning to the cards to make every little decision.
I have seen the Tarot being used for every kind of reading, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, if you’re unable to make a small choice in your life without consulting the cards, you may have a problem. This gives your power over to something else.
What you use the Tarot for is your prerogative. No tea, no shade, no pink lemonade, if it works. The warning signs come when you have anxiety over making a choice without consulting the Tarot cards or a Tarot reader.
The good news is this can be easily remedied! If you find yourself circling this issue, I want you to feel within your body the next time you make a decision. Allow your intuition and reasoning to help make your choices, and don’t rush into choosing either.
2. When you’re risking your relationships because of your need for confirmation from the cards.
No matter what a skilled Tarot reader says or what cards you may get in a reading; if you pull the plug on any relationship because of one card coming up one time; that’s on you, not on the Tarot. I’ve seen this happen before and it’s usually because the person is looking for an out anyway.
I’ve also seen this cause tension in relationships because one partner has to run to the cards for confirmation at every turn. This is not helpful in building a good solid team, and I feel it puts a third person or energy into the relationship; you, your partner, and the cards. Remember I’m talking about using the Tarot all the time, not just when there is a real need, a massive life choice, or a conflict that you’re stuck on.
Work with your significant other more than you work with the cards when making choices in your relationship. They are more important, aren’t they?
3. When you’re risking your finances because of the cards.
I will never shame anyone who buys Tarot decks, oracle decks, crystal, and anything that they want unless it’s elephant tusks and harmful things. If you have the financial means and it’s bringing you what you need in life then awesome sauce; you do you. There’s enough money shaming going around, it’s not necessary in our community.
What I’m talking about is when you buy a Tarot reading over putting food in your fridge or getting a new deck instead of paying the bills. This is a dangerous addictive behavior. If I can’t afford to pay for it with the money I have I don’t get it.
I have a strict rule where I never buy a deck that I simply don’t have the money for.
People rack up serious debt talking to Tarot phone lines and buying reading after reading. While Tarot readers are not responsible for their clients if someone is coming back over and over at very frequent intervals, it may be time to cut them off for a bit. I usually give these people some homework to do in self-reflection and daily self-care rituals and hope that helps them. I always try to lead with kindness and compassion.
A remedy for this can be getting some help around money management. Loving something or having a passion for anything shouldn’t mean financial ruin.
4. When you have your tarot reader on speed dial before your nearest and dearest.
I’m not going to lie, I have people that I know I can message and book a reading with ASAP if I needed one. However, they’re not on speed dial and I don’t message or call them at ridiculous times of the night and day for immediate assistance. I also have Tarot Readers who are my best friends but they are my friends first and are tarot readers as a profession.
5. When you are using the cards to figure out your personal relationships instead of talking to the people you’re in a relationship with.
This is really the same as talking to your friends, family, hairdresser, post person, and goldfish about the issues you’re having in your relationship. This is usually done without actually talking or working with the person you’re in the relationship with.
Talking it out and getting some perspective is important but you don’t want to be figuring everything out with your cards without working with your partner.
The Tarot can be a wonderful tool to help you navigate rocky times in your relationships. It’s a fantastic way to get to breakthroughs but it should be used mindfully.
Whenever we use the tarot for one-sided talking or in an absolute narrative, we’re in the danger zone.
Simply asking the cards “why is my partner being such an asshole today?” and flipping cards, until you get the answer you want, is not helpful. Why not ask your partner “what’s going on?”. Oftentimes by putting our phones down and actually connecting with the person solves more problems than we realize.
There are excellent exercises that you can do together with the Tarot if you’re both struggling to find the right words to use. It does mean that your partner has to be open to using the cards but it can be really insightful. If you’re all interested I can make a post on something like this. Let me know in the comments below.
A Note on Anxiety and Stress and Healing with the Tarot
Many people come to the tarot for aid with clearing their minds and making decisions. Anxiety is real, it’s something I struggle with. Lots of Tarot Professionals use the Tarot to help with their counseling and healing work, which is an amazing way to use the tarot. I speak about this topic from a place of it being dangerous if there is codependency on the tarot.
Some of these points may hit home for a few people, and when this happens, it’s an opportunity for self-reflection. It’s a great time to ask yourself, “why am I getting triggered?”.
Ultimately, you have to do you and feel comfortable with how you live your life and if you are, then carry on, superstar! Don’t let anyone stop you from being you.
Did I miss anything? When do you think too much tarot is too much? Maybe you have a different opinion, let me know!